Korean Back Treatment

I guess I have myself to blame. I mentioned to my wife that my back was a little stiff (probably from sleeping so much on account of my cold) and she told her mom and dad...who then made an appointment at a Korean doctor to treat me. I was told it would be a massage (which is fine, in my books) but it was something a lot more.

First, there was this weird smell coming from the "doctor's" office (a real doctor? Hmmmm). It was like incense...which made me wonder what kind of druid I'd be seeing.

They took down some basic information...name, phone number and talked to me and my mother-in-law. Then it was on to a bed to lie face down. Hmmm....no mention of a health card number or vital signs (pulse, respiration) that seems to be the norm in Western clinics.

The doc attached a couple of suction cups to my lumbar region...and created two strong vacuums. I had seen this, it actually tensed up the muscles quite well. Maybe this is ok.

Then the cups came off and I felt a series of pin-pricks in the same area. What the heck!?!? Is this accupuncture? I thought it wasn't supposed to hurt! Anyhoo, on again with the suction cups. Ends up...there is 'bad blood' in your body and you need to get it out from where it sets (which happens to be whereever you're hurting). If you leave this blood in it's bad. Uh-huh. Sounds like a throw-back to leeching, to me.

Here's a pic of my lovely back after the 'treatment'. Ai-yai-yai! My father-in-law said that many people in Seoul have these on their back...you can see it in the men's lockerroom. Ok, well, I work out in Canada, not Korea...so I imagine I'll get a few stares.

After the suctions came the accupuncture. About a dozen needles were fired into my back. Some of them had little shots of insense (hence the odor) attached to them. The advice was: tell me if they are feeling hot. Let's see, burning needles in my skin, how could that be hot!!??!

Then on the back for another treatment on my front. Needles in my left foot and leg (not the right, but then the left was on her side of the table...so maybe it had more to do with convenience. Let me tell you...she put them needles pretty far South, too. Even lit one pretty close to the nether-regions--yeow! Then a heatlamp on my torso. I asked her if she was cooking me...indeed, she was. Huh?!?! Ya, cooking one's stomach is good for the back.

Then it was over. They had a little pharmacy there...and I got some pills of some sort (looked more like rabbit turds) to take 3 times a day. Apparently they are made from bear liver (that sounds very legal, doesn't it?)--and smelled like bear crap.

Well, my father-in-law says just 3 or 5 or 7 more treatments (no suction, just accupuncture) and I'll be good as new. He's seem some guys with 6 or 10 suction-marks on their back and even Gwyneth Paltrow has had it done (but, then, she's a Hollywood star--she'll do anything that's in fashion).

I'll let you know how it goes.