How to Cook a Turkey (James-style)

I got this recipe from my Dad who got it from his mom and I added a little bit to it. If you've never tried to cook a turkey this may be a good primer.

This morning I made the dressing (should have done it last night, but got side-tracked). Just get a big bowl (I use a stainless steel one) and fill it with bread that is cut or ripped to about 1 inch (2cm) squares. You can use white, brown, pumpernickel or whatever you like (don't bother spending too much on it, though, as it's actually not a big deal once it's all cooked). Then throw in half an onion or so (finely diced) and a stalk of celery or so (also finely diced, even the leaves and especially the inner stalks). I also finely diced some mushroom and threw it in there. Now for the good part. With one hand mix up the contents while sprinkling copious amounts of China Lily soy sauce on it (if you can't get that brand then any one that is thick/dark will do...not the light stuff for this one). Once the bread looks like a patchwork cow continue to mix and add poultry seasoning to it as well. Like I say, it's a good idea to let it sit in the fridge overnight, but it's not the end of the world if you don't.

UPDATE: Well, my sis-in-law has a great idea to put Craisins, rosemary and thyme in the dressing...so I'll give it a try. She bought like 2 boxes of rosemary (about 40 little branches of the stuff); I have no idea how much to use nor how much she figured we'd need, so went a easy on it.

Now for the bird. If you buy a frozen one you'll need to put it in the fridge a day or so before the big day...not on the counter or in warm water, you'll just have to plan this out. As it happens, my mother-in-law had ours in the kimchi fridge so it ended up a little frozen, but not too bad. If it's rock-solid on the day of you may need to get medieval on it and try running hot water over it for a while, but I think this in not advisable (not sure why, though). The in-laws bought a Butterball brand one, which I don't really see the need for. Basting a turkey I guess is a matter of taste, but I find that if you have it in a roaster there is no need to baste the thing.

Once you have it out of any wrapping it may be in (DO NOT just put it in the oven with plastic on it or without doing these steps, as some have!) put it in the sink and wash with water.


This is how it starts...in my case a half frozen bird in the sink (note how the legs are strapped into the rest of it).

Now you need to orient yourself. There are 2 ends to this thing:


Here you can see (what remains of) the neck; hence, I call this the 'head-end'. The other is the 'back-end'.

You'll see a flap of skin over the head-end and if you lift it you'll see some paper (part of a little bag). Take the bag out and rinse the cavity.


Here is the little bag from the head-end.

The back-end is a little trickier. The legs will probably be tucked into a flap of skin. Do not rip or cut this skin! Just finesse the legs out of it...you'll need to put them back in that flap before you put it in the oven. If the legs are tied with meat string then cut it and retie with some more later if you can't insert in the flaps for some reason (you don't want these things extending on you during cooking! (Picture it doing the splits in there and some of the meat being overdone as a result.)


Now you can see one leg out--don't force it or cut the flap.

Then take the neck out. Some people fry it up or boil it or whatever to eat it. Most, I imagine, turf it. I also take this opportunity to cut out the...ahem...butt of the turkey. it's just under the flap and no one eats the thing (except my uncle, may he rest in peace) so it's probably best to remove it before someone gets left with it at the end of the meal.


Here is a shot of where the neck came from (the back-end)...too gorey?

Some people also throw out the organs (liver, heart and lungs; aka giblets) that are in the little bag; some fry them up for breakfast the next day. I put them in the stuffing (also called dressing by some, especially my family; they mean the same thing) for flavour. The lungs are pretty tough to cut, and the liver is surprisingly big.


As you can see, we've replaced the normal turkey stuffing with this organ-laced version from Folger's...let's see how they like it...

Fill the head-end first (cuz if you do it second you'll likely have stuffing falling out of the back-end). Once it's full (maybe to near-bursting), use a meat skewer to sew it up (you actually use it like a needle without thread). They are usually 10-20cm long (don't get ones that are too long, like them 30-40cm kebob skewers) and METAL (hint: in a 325-350 oven for 4-8 hours wooden ones may burn or at least smoke).


This shot shows a properly stuffed head end and the skewer holding it all together.

Now, when you put it in the roaster things seem pretty simple. But, think ahead a few hours...how the heck do you get the thing out of there when it's done?!?! Well, there are a few devices you can use:


Option #1: the chain lifter.


Option #2: The 'solid' lifter (not a chain at least). Option #3 is an unpictured meat twine lifter (the lifter of last resort).

I like the 'solid' one as it gives you more control when you take it out. If you don't have one you can (i) use 2 massive spoons to shovel it out or (ii) cook it in a flatter dish and cover with tin-foil instead of in a roaster (but I think a roaster is best).

Now preheat the over to 325 (F) and have it in there for about 30 minutes per POUND (not kg) of weight (site with cooking times here). You may know it's done by the smell, but a meat thermometer will tell you also (I've never used one). Peel potatoes for boiling and mashing when there is about an hour or so left (hint: the lag from when the bird goes in to when you need to do more work may be enough time to watch a football game or two (or a movie...or update your blog).